Today all the Swedish flags are flying high because of The Nobel Prize Ceremonial – but my spirit isn’t flying very high. Can’t say that my “just now moment” is on fire … but my “sorry ass” is!!!!!
This afternoon was my first meeting with the specialists about my “sorry ass” – and the answer I got wasn’t the right one for me, so now I have to adjust my mental status.
So many of you have been asking how I’m doing … with my problem … and the last couple of weeks hasn’t been the greatest and today I found out that probably that’s what is going to be for me until the day I hand in my notice.
Martin, the doctor, very nice man and charming – said that he are 98% sure that my problems are caused by all the radio therapy and if that is the case, there is nothing they can do to ease my problem, because it’s a burn damage – no medicine will ease or heal. Just like with my bladder. It’s not like I can close it down to let rest and get a chance to heal up.
There can a be a little light in the tunnel and that is that they found a infection in my colon and they have to look closer into – that can effect the blood veins and cause the swelling in my colon, but he doesn’t think that is the case.
So they are now sending me on to “the last stop” and that will not happen until next year. Martin suggested that I should try go back on suppository – even if it stings, and increase them to 3 times per day for at least 4 weeks, the best laid plan just now.
Here I’m on a dead end street … and something else is added for me to try to arrange my life around. Another discomfort that will be added to my everyday. I reacted a lot stronger on today’s news than I did 3,5 years ago when they told me that I had cancer.
I have always said that life is a bitch – and it’s okay to be bitchy back … but not tonight.
So now my “sorry ass” and I going under the duvet – we are going to feel sorry for ourselves for a while. We are going to cuddle up and have a good cry. *smile
“They say life’s a bitch.
Well you should see the look she’s giving me”
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