I have been blogging about my “demons” from time to time, don’t want to do it too often, because it’s not that interesting reading. Don’t want to bore you to death – my demos is something I have to live with was something I was told 14 days ago when I did my quarterly checkups. News that I wasn’t completely happy about, I have struggled with my aftermaths for over nearly 2 years now and some of them has increased, but one has decreased.
Already the day after my operation I was told that my cancer had spread – Thomas, one of my senior doctor had done some tests on the lymph nodes they had remove from both side of my groin. Some of the women I met during me treatment knew how many lymph nodes they lost, they were talking about over 20 – I never asked, it would make any difference to me anyhow.
Thomas, told me that normally they do cluster sampling and send them away for closer analyzing – but because of his findings they would send all away and results will ready in 14 days.
14 days later he phoned me and told me that they had found a sister tumor in one of the lymph node, but that was the only one and he was sure that they had got everything out and the treatment will kill if there is anything left in the tissues.
About 12 months after I finished my treatment my right foot start to swell – to nearly 3 times its size, it became painful and I had problems to have shoes on. Especially when we had nearly 2mtr of snow that winter and I couldn’t get any boots on. They took my problem very seriously because there is a high risk for thrombosis under and after chemo treatments. So a couple of X-ray set that straight and they sent me off to the Lymphoedema clinic.
What happen is when they remove the lymph nodes the fluid get lost and when it’s not able to find a new way it stays where it’s – the fluid will only travel upwards in our legs – I thought it was the gravity that made the fluid end up in my feet. But it’s the opposite – it comes from the feet and can’t find a way up the leg so it’s stacked.
Since I had my first checkup regarding this problem – they measure both my legs 4 times per year. I get support tights that fits sort of my measures from a size chart. Not much has happen, when I was there in spring they made a decision that they will order tights (stay ups) after my legs own measures. My right leg is the one with the problem – I had 11% (11ltr) more fluid in that leg compare to the left.
Told them that there is no way I will ware a tight during the summer – so we made an agreement, that I would sleep with the tight – and so I have done … and since the weather has gone colder I wear the tight 24/7 except if I’m going to dress up.
At my last checkup – my leg had lost 1,7ltr of fluid – so today I have only 9.3% more fluid in my right. A massive decrease. So they decided to give me tailor made tights for both legs and wear them as I done the last 5 months. When I can 24/7 and otherwise only overnight. During the year I have worn the tights the procent of fluid in both my legs has gone up and down.
Got my parcel from Germany the other day – the tights must cost an fortune – the tights even have my name inside them – and they tell me witch one is for the right and left leg, because my legs have not the same measures. And they don’t cost me a cent.
One thing I must confess – I love wearing them – they are so comfortable – and they give such a great support to my legs. Did an earlier post about “pretty support” – and I had never had a problem with them except during the summer. And with the heat during my visit to US and Canada in July, it had been impossible for me to wear them. Still it worked out brilliantly.
Don’t mind them now in the winter, because they are warm and so smooth.
As I said in my earlier post – if I knew how comfortable support stockings were – when I worked I would have used them for years, especially with all the hours I have spent standing up and running around in kitchens. I understand why airhostesses wear them. Also they will stop us women from getting varicose veins. In Sweden today we have to pay for removal of varicose veins ourselves – because they class it as beauty plastic surgery and it cost an arm and a leg. Thank God, I don’t have that too.
So this is a bit of sunshine in all my problems and I will today put my new stay ups on – with big problems the first couple of days, but after that – they will fit like gloves.
“He who cannot support himself,
can not take his own decision”
Gamal Abdel Nasser
My cloud of music is Marianne Rosenberg’s “Der einzige Mann” (The Only Man) – in the 70s I listen a lot to her and she was one of my favorite singers. Marianne is one of seven children from Auschwitz survivor Otto Rosenberg, who was a long-time advocate and representative of the Sinti and Roma people in Germany, a function which Marianne’s sister Petra later also undertook. During my engagement with Hans-Jochim was there a lot of Marianne. She are still an active singer and songer writer – born 1955. I still love her voice.
Marianne’s photo provided by and thanks to; berlin-woman.de