8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 – So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 – My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 – The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:22 – The transgender man … women … person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts?
8:25 – The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 – I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 – The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up.
8:40 – The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 – The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 – The city council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 – The TV news crew showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow women? I replied “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.
9:00 – I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 – I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 – Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.
By noon it had all melted.
Thank you so much, Eha … for the reminder about how the simplest thing can become the most complicated thing. Is this what we have become????!!!!!
“Snowmen fall from heaven unassembled.”