my music moods (left behind)

“Remember me and smile, for it’s better to forget
than to remember me and cry.”
Dr Suess

Today is 7 years since my mum left me behind … I miss her so much … and I nearly talk to her every day – she became 91 years old. 

…. getting older means more funerals than weddings. And I have been to quite a few, have lost lover, family and friends. All are with me!

My first loss was my grandpa, Emil … I was only 8.

At 20 I lost my first and biggest love of all, Tommy. He was only 21 when he was killed in a single-car accident in his Aston Martin. A lost I never really recovered from …

My whole family has left me … grandma … my uncle and aunt … my mum. I’m the only one standing.

During my cancer journey, I met some awesome women that became my friends, but they also have left me behind: Solveig, Lise Lotte, Doris, Edna and Bodil.

I also lost one of my girlfriends to cancer, Monika. And my mum’s best friends and dear ones to me lost their fight too, Inger and Leif.

Rudi was a best friend and brilliant colleague. We met when he started to work for us in Canada 1989 and he also shared my life for many years in the UK.

And my girlfriend Paula … left in February last year.

“Nothing Else Matters” (James Alan Hetfield and Dane Lars Ulrich)

  • Wouldn’t call me a rock music fan, but there is music that I have on my playlists. Music by The Queens, U2 and Metallica.
  • “Nothing Else Matters” is written by American James Alan Hetfield and Dane Lars Ulrich.
  •  It was released in 1992 as the third single from their self-titled fifth studio album, Metallica.
  • The song peaked at number 11 on the Billboard Mainstream Rock Tracks chart, number 6 on the UK Singles Chart as well as top-ten on many other European charts.
  • The song has been covered nearly 100 times.
  • Lucie Silvas (born Lucie Joanne Silverman, 1977) is a British singer-songwriter.
  • 2004 she took her music to Europe, including Germany and the Netherlands, where she released a special Europe-only single, “Nothing Else Matters”.
  • I wrote my first will in 2005 and this Lucie’s version belonged to my last wishes. Wrote my latest will last year and … it’s out because I have chosen only Swedish music.

“So close, no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
And nothing else matters”

Requiem in D minor, K. 626 (Mozart)

  • For me was Mozart’s Reqium totally unknown until I saw the Miloš Forman movie “Amadeus” in 1984. It was hard not to be affected by it.
  • In my book is this the most impressive Reqium of them all. Nearly every classical composer has done their own.
  • Mozart composed part of the Requiem in Vienna in late 1791, but it was unfinished at his death on 5 December the same year.
  • A completed version dated 1792 by Franz Xaver Süssmayr was delivered to Count Franz von Walsegg, who commissioned the piece for a Requiem service to commemorate the anniversary of his wife’s death on 14 February.
  • The Requiem is scored for 2 basset horns in F, 2 bassoons, 2 trumpets in D, 3 trombones (alto, tenor, and bass), timpani (2 drums), violins, viola, and basso continuo (cello, double bass, and organ). The basset horn parts are sometimes played on conventional clarinets, even though this changes the sonority.
  • The vocal forces include soprano, contralto, tenor, and bass soloists and an SATB mixed choir.

Day of wrath
Dies irae

Day
Dies illa

It will dissolve in ashes
Solvet saeclum en favilla

How a tremor is
Quantus tremor est futurus

When the judge
Quando judex est venturus

Ctions planned to narrow the disc
Cunta stricte discus surus”

“The Lonely Shepherd” (James Last)

  • This piece was one of my mum’s last wishes … it was stated in her will that she wanted this piece played at her funeral.
  • Also one of my favourite orchestral pieces and once I had ever James Last album on vinyl. He was the one that made me listen to classical music, his versions of all the masterpieces are pure magic. Wonder was all my LPs has gone????!!!.
  • The Lonely Shepherd, also known as “Einsamer Hirte” or “Der einsame Hirte in German” or as “El pastor solitario” in Spanish, is an instrumental piece by James Last
  • First released in a recording with the Romanian pan-flautist Gheorghe Zamfir in 1979.
  • Used in 1984 in the Oscar-nominated animated short film “Paradise”. In 2003, Quentin Tarantino used the recording as a soundtrack in a scene and in the closing credits of his film Kill Bill: Volume 1.
  • The title enjoys unbroken popularity up to today and is newly recorded by numerous artists.

My mum said many times to me … when it is time for me to leave don’t let my departure be hard on your eyes … instead, let it keep your heart warm.

Mum, I love you …. and my heart is always warm!!!

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you,
could walk in my garden forever.”
Alfred Lord Tennyson

9 thoughts on “my music moods (left behind)

  1. 🙂 Dear Viveka,

    I’m sorry to hear of all your losses. With every loved one that leaves, it’s a bit of a heart break. People actually die from a broken heart. But don’t forget what Dr. Seuss also said:

    Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”

    I had so been looking forward to seeing you this weekend!!!
    Many hugs xoxoxo

    • Thanks for your comforting words … talked to Robert and Carol yesterday, she has broken her leg. Poor thing. Yes, I had really looked forward to my visit and to be able to spend time with you. But as I said to them … same place, same date … next year. I totally agree with you and Dr Seuss – we should be thankful for what we had with the ones we have lost. When you reach my age … it is more funerals than weddings, that is just a fact of life. BigMorningHug … will phone you over the weekend.

  2. So many losses, Viveka – life is, life flies. Sorry and sadness. My grandmother used to say: “Who said life would be easy?” A beautiful post with beautiful thoughts and tribute to the ones you have lost.
    Next week the sun will be back, at least Monday, Tuesday. Are you ready for Wanås?

    • Losing loved ones is a part of life … it’s easier to get the head around it when age gives them up. But when the young!!! Thank you so much for your beautiful words. If the sun is back next week … I will be ready. I have laundry on 10th, rest is free.

    • THANK YOU so much for your kind words and comment … losing people we love is a part of life … and in age, I’m now there are less wedding and more funerals. Just fact of life. I wish you only the best for your tomorrows.

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