to all the men – my shades … (volume 3)

“The last love is the most lasting of loves” 
Amit Abraham

…. so it became 3 volumes in total, I promise that this is last.


John????? Yes, he smiled and conquered. I was dining out alone in Belfast, where I lived. He was sitting a couple of tables away with his brother …. he looked at me and smiled at … I smiled back and that was it. The last proper romance I would say .. it was in 2005. John, a lawyer and living in Boston, but born and raised in Belfast. He was visiting his family and friends for a couple of weeks. He still had his broad Belfast accent.


I was at the time very busy at work … and had a really hard time concentrating on work with John on my mind.  We texted each other 24/7.

We had so much fun together – he owned fantastic humor, we were wining and dining … going to the cinema … walking along River Lagan and in Ormeau Park hand in hand. John was a very romantic man and it was wonderful to feel like a teenager again at 57 and absolutely nothing wrong with the sex neither, steaming hot.  John is 3 years younger than me and was divorced for a couple of years back.


Two week passes quickly when you are enamored. He returned to Boston and it was a really hard goodbye, at least for me. Cried my eyes out.

After a couple of days … I received a beautiful bouquet of pink roses from him. As a “thank, you card” I created my profile image, with the help of my Nokia and the bathroom mirror.

Some weeks later he phoned me and told me that an enlargement of my image was hanging at the entrance of his office. He sent me an image … but I lost when my old Dell went black. We talked, we mailed .. but never met again.

John’s favorite song was “Bed of Roses” with Bon Jovi … he is one of the most romantic men I met. I often listen to the song because it makes me feel so good.


There is a couple more:

Jens, my boyfriend while living in Denmark in my youth. We had a great relationship most of the time .. when it was bad it was really bad. He was a professional boxer and one Saturday evening we had an argument and he knocked me out. To get knocked out  … hurts in the body for days, every muscle aches.  That was me … I packed up my things and went home to mum.

Steiner, a captain … charming Norwegian … full of himself, married, a real charmer (he thought) … but a lot of fun.

Ulf, 1st office: very tall, blond, gentle, fun and married. Great to go ashore together with China, because I could never lose him, could see him on miles distance. I didn’t mind he was married, he had such guilty. He became a fantastic support to me during my time aboard. He was always there for me and looked out for me, especially when I started to get so ill.

Yes, I have been around the block a couple of times. *smile Do I regret anything ???? … yes, that letter I never wrote to Tommy.

artist: elena kolotusha

Would I like to get a new passion in life today … not really, because I love my life as its today, I come and go as I want … I have fantastic friends.

I’m a tough lady to be in a relationship with … because I love my freedom and I’m so independent and it has gone both better and worse with age.

“Now as you close your eyes, know I’ll be thinking about you
While my mistress she calls me to stand in her spotlight again
Tonight, I won’t be alone but you know that don’t mean I’m not lonely
I’ve got nothing to prove
For it’s you that I’d die to defend

I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses
For tonight I’ll sleep on a bed of nails
I want to be just as close as, the Holy Ghost is
And lay you down”



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