the TURB surgery and I survived, but yesterday evening … I want to throw myself out the window of the ward (2nd floor).
I had been laying on my back for over 12 hours … my feet were numb, my sorry ass was on fire, the urethra and bladder was sore and the catheter was putting pressure on everything down below. My poor brain was boiling over with pain signal from every inch of my body. 
No lucky pills helped … I was sitting on the toilet chair for 2 hours crying in our shower room, didn’t want to disturb they other on the ward. They had to get me high as a skyline yesterday evening, nothing worked … so I got that ultimate shot in my bum, but even that took a long time to work .. over 1,5 hours.
What I found out yesterday is that our surgeons are now called operators????? Because they do operations???!!
I also found out that I have 3 small red spots inside my bladder … that radiotherapy burns can result in cancer, but there is no sign of that yet. My operator, Mats .. said that if he was my doctor he would do nothing so long it is like it is and he will recommend that to him.
He is going to send all the scrapes away for testing … he has burned the areas and he told me not to worry .. and if I start bleeding again my doctor has to tell me what to do.
They woke me up 6.15am this morning and I had 5,5 hours good sleep behind me … enjoyed a great breakfast buffet, a girlfriend collected me and drove me home and 11.15am I opened my front door. Home Sweet Home!
I was so well looked after during the 18 hours I was admitted … and helped me with my pain … they did what they could do. It was just too much for my body to handle.
Been sleeping most the afternoon … and tomorrow my life goes back to normal … expect I’m not allowed to lift or push!!!! They didn’t mention sex???!!! Not that I’m in the mood for it. *laughing
“The most frequent lie in a hospital: it won’t hurt.”
Gerhard Kocher
myguiltypleasures 
Oh, Vivi, poor you….what a nightmare. Hope things settle down soon Sending lots of hugs, gentle ones 💕
A Hearty thank you, Sue … yesterday evening it was poor Vivi, but now I’m okay. The result of it all was good. I need those hugs. Thank you … Thank you.
Sleep well
Same to you, Sue … and dream carefully. *smile
😊😊
Oh, honey! It all sounds very drastic treatment so hopefully it was in a good cause and will give you a better quality of life. More hugs coming your way 🙂 🙂
Jo, I don’t think it was drastic as such … but they had problems get the tools inside me … and had to use a bit a force. It dragged on for hours, but the result was good and I’m pleased with it as it’s today. I love your hugs.
🤗🕊️🍾💕
So sorry you had to go through this, dear Vivi. I hope you’re feeling much more comfortable soon. Sending hugs to you. 🤗
THaAaAAanks, I was back to my normal myself this morning when they woke me up. What ordeal it was. I have experience a lot worst pain during my cancer journey, but yesterday it was so unexpected .. I thought it was going to be over in a couple of hours. My poor brain was going on overdrive. Love Hugs!!! Thank you.
I remember your cancer journey posts, dear Vivi. You’re one very courageous lady. 😂😘
🙂 Dear Wivi,
you poor thing! I’m so sorry that you’ve been in so much pain.
But it sounds, as if if your “operator” did well. Are you still on painkillers? Did they give you anything, just in case?
Keeping my fingers crossed for you, dear Wivi!
Get well soon! Lots of love and a big duvet hug.
Claudia xoxo 🙂
You poor thing, I know some of what that is like from my hospital visit last year. I hate catheters, I had one in for 6 weeks. I do hope the pain is gone today and that you will speedily recover.
Jo, thank you so much for your thoughts. My poor mum lived her last years with a catheter, I hate them too but never had to have one more than 4 days. No pain since that ultimate shot at the hospital and the removal of the catheter was painless. The instructions are to go on with life, but no lifts and pushes for 7 days.
Viveka–I am glad it is over with. The best part: coming home to your own bed. Heal well, my friend. Much love to you.
Loisa, thank you so much for your kind words … I’m returned to normal now. A good afternoon nap and good night sleep (with help of a little pill) makes wonders.
how awful and hope the worst is behind you. here is to your recovery
Beth, thank you so much for your concern … I’m back to my old self today … the iron board is screaming for me *smile – But I wasn’t cocky on Monday evening. So glad it’s done and I know what is going on with my bladder.
Ah Viveka! I hope by the time you see this you are feeling MUCH better. You certainly have been through it. You have always amazed me at how resilient you are. And you don’t let it stop you from seeing the world!!!!!
Colleen, thank a million for your lovely comment. I’m not so tough as I been, but normally I return to normal quite quick, but pain … affects me more and more. So sick and tired of it that pain has become such a big part of my every day. I’m not giving up, but I have to adapt to it. It has slowed me down, but it hasn’t stopped me … yet!!! There are still places to see. Thank you so much for your support.
I so look forward to your travels and reviews Viveka. I’m sorry to hear what the pain is doing to you. I hope you find comfort and I am heartened that you are still looking forward to places to see. ❤
Colleen, we have all our cross to carry … and there is always many more worst off, but sometimes it’s getting too hard for the brain to handle. It has slowed me down, but not stopped me yet. So there is a lot more to come .. and you’re always welcome to join me. *smile
Then I will keep you in my thoughts and hope for relief. And I will ALWAYS go along. 🙂 Me and Oscar travel well together.
Yes, you travel very well together. *smile Thank you for your kind thoughts.
glad you’re on to recovery, dear Vivi! take care and feel better soon! happy thoughts for you 🙂 🙂
Lola, I’m back in full swing today … ironing first on the program … so glad I have it behind me and that the result was so comforting. Thanks for your thoughts, means a lot for me.
Well done, you. You’ve got through it and triumphed. Happy recovery!
Tish, thank you so much! It was just circumstances … that made it what it became for me. Feeling fine today.
Good girl!
THAAaAaAaAanks!
Oh I hope you feel better real soon. Hospitals are the worst 😀
Cee, thank you so much … I don’t really mind hospitals, because it’s the best place to be when we aren’t okay. But I know exactly what you mean.
Nej men vilket helvete du fick gå igenom , precis som om du inte haft nog🙈??? Glad att du gjorde Din resa och sköt upp operationen. Hoppas nu för Guds skull att du får må bättre . Inte värd att lida så som Du gör, Du är en kämpe men det måste finnas gränser för allt vad Du ska gå igenom och utstå. Tänker alla positiva tankar som bara går . Tusen pussar o kramar till Dig min vän.😘🤗
Lilla Hjärtat, ja det var mycket jobbigt och min ledsna rumpa är fortfarande mycket öm … det har blivit ett lyckopiller varje dag. Annars är jag tillbaka i tillvaron, utan dropp *skrattar – I bland blir det för mycket för hjärna och då rasar jag samman. Nu har jag Gdansk, Istanbul, Nice och Tbilisi att se framemot. Än finns det lite styrka kvar och så länge som jag har lyckopiller … fixar jag det på något sätt. Vi är otroligt starka trots allt. Hjärte tack för de fina orden och stödet. Massor … av allt från mig till dig.
Urghhh! Hope you recover well soon and get to return home! Sending you hugs and positive energy!
I’m so sorry to hear this happened Vivi. I hope you are pain free now and back to your wonderful self again
Suzanne, thank you so much … but it’s still dragging on with the infection, but I have got the results of the tests from my bladder and … NO CANCER!!! Burn-damage from the Radio Therapy. Going to Gdansk on Monday … so that will cheer me up. *smile
Good news, but I hope they can do something about the damage. Enjoy Gdansk
Thanks, Suzanne .. will do my best and let Gdansk to the rest. *smile
I am a nurse and I never tell people that something won’t hurt if it will! My second pet peeve is nurses and doctors calling pain “duscomfort”. That totally invalidates someone’s experience.
Hi there, I don’t think any nurse or doctor will say it won’t hurt if it does – anymore!! And rightly so, because as you say we all experience pain and treatments so differently. It was just like the pain and problems I have made it worst. Thank you so much for your visit.