“it doesn’t matter where ….

the tumour sat it will always go the head”. This a the stripline for the Svensk Cancer Rehabilitering (SCR). I promise that couldn’t be truer.

In May I made my way to the ER at Helsingborg Hospital, because I have had a lot of blood coming from my bladder, a lot of blood. Something I got every second year and always in the Summer, but I have gone my gynecologist and when I got an appointment with him the bleeding had stopped. Both times he has told me that there is nothing left in me that gives me any bleeding. I had cervical cancer and did that journey in 2010.

This time it was so bad … really bad.

It was serious they put me on a ward overnight … and they had to flush my bladder with saline during the night, time after time.

After that I have done a scan of my kidneys … and twice I have been on penicillin for an infection I have.

Today I did a Cystoscopy. I was terrified, because when I did the scan it was so indescribably painful for some reason, both the X-ray nurses and I was in shock over the reaction I got from the contrast.

Jenny, the lovely nurse I got today … was so caring and understanding. A superstar. And my doctor, a very handsome Greek man (Georgio), the same.

It was so PAINFUL!!!! I’m 70 years old and I cried like a baby when they were inside my bladder with the camera …. looking for ??????!!! And he had to call for the other doctor for a second opinion.

The verdict so fare … no visible tumours, nothing wrong with my kidneys or ureter, but I have a “red spot” in the lower part of the bladder and still a heavy infection.

What the “red spot” is none of them could say and still they can’t say what causes the heavy bleeding.

So I’m back on penicillin for the 3: rd time in a month.

And because of the infection, they were not able to take any smear samples – so at the end of September will we do the same dancing and singing again.

I should be happy over that there were no visible tumours… because that was my biggest fear, but for some reason … I feel totally under the duvet.

Full of self-pity and I don’t even feel for having dinner, and this is not like me at all. Maybe I should buy myself a box of chocolate pralines????? A big one.

“We have to be healthy
to be sick”
Viveka Gustavson


20 thoughts on ““it doesn’t matter where ….

  1. I am so sorry you were in such pain and have these awful symptoms. I am sending you healing thoughts and wrapping you in a tight internet hug.

    • Sue, thank you so much … yes, I would have liked an answer today … I think it’s a burn from all the radiation therapy, I was rushed to hospital with stomach pains a couple of months after I finished my treatment … and they went through everything and the doctor said to me .. I think it’s the bladder, but I didn’t take it from there … because I thought he was far off. But I think he was right now. That hug will I take under the duvet to soon. Thank you.

  2. 🙂 Dear Wivi,
    I’m so sorry that you are hurting so badly! Being in pain is bad. But yours has been going on for a far too long time!!!
    I wonder why the penicilin doesn’t help? Have you had too much of it so that you’re immune now?
    But it’s typical of you to spice your post with humorous pictures. They made me laugh out loud! Thank you.
    I’ll have some ice cream now and I’ll think of you when enjoying it.
    Many hugs and lots of love
    from my couch to yours XO 🙂

    • Girlfriend, the doctor said that the bacterial I have is hard to tackle. They have done carefully cultivated and given me penicillin that should have worked. I haven’t taken penicillin for many years now, so that shouldn’t be a problem.
      I think it was the pain yesterday that made me so miserable. Feeling a lot better today and I will enjoy the beautiful day we seem to get. I forgot the ice cream yesterday. Will make up for it today. *laughing.
      Breakfast Hug!!! Do you still have plans for Lund????

  3. Sounds good there were no tumours, Viveka, but it’s the waiting that is terrible. Waiting for an answer. I do think it sounds hopeful though! Hugs from me and the family!

    • Yes, I’m really happy that they didn’t find any tumours … feel a lot better today. And I didn’t buy any chocolate. Had a big bowl of porridge instead, wasn’t at all exciting. The only thing is that I’m so sick and tired of taking the penicillin, it doesn’t agree with me. ThAaAAanks for the hugs, I use them today … looks to be another fantastic summer day.

  4. Viveka–I am so sorry for all you had to go through. You almost want them to find something for how painful this was. I’m glad for the lovely nurse and handsome doctor, but I hope they can tell you what is causing all your pain and bleeding. Big hugs to you. And more chocolate….

    • Loisa, there was no chocolate yesterday … so proud over me. I would have made myself sick from it, the way I felt. Feel 100% better this beautiful morning … It was the pain experience that brought me on the knees yesterday.
      A hearty thank you for your support. It felt a lot better after writing the post. To get it out of the system.

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