I have said for many years now … we have to be healthy to be sick. And the last 7 days can’t be any truer when it comes to my withdraws.
The problems with my feet started in August 2009 and about 4 weeks ago I got a name to my problems – I’m suffering from polyneuropathy, not the greatest news … because there isn’t any cure and nobody can tell me about the outcome.
There is medicine to ease the pains and a year ago my doctor put me on Cymbalta – an antidepressive medicine – that also help ease never pains. I have been taken 1x60mg pill per day.
Because I haven’t felt that they have done bigger help to my pain .. I asked my doctor if I could get another medicine. It’s not a medicine that I can just quite – it has to be gradually descending, which I have done … been following doctor’s orders. So Monday last week was my last pill.
On Wednesday just after lunch, my private hell arrived, the withdraw symptoms. I haven’t been this sick since my cancer treatment in 2010 – when my immune system took a 10 days break. And I’m still suffering.
I have been crying like a baby .. been shaking, sweating, headache, every inch of me has been aching, high fever for 2 days, I can’t drink coffee (it taste metal), I can’t use toothpaste, haven’t eaten solid food for 7 days now (have no appetite what so ever) and server stomach pains.
Talked to my doctor yesterday and she said it will probably take 3-5 days more for me before I’m back to “normal”.
The sad thing is that I have now understood that Cymbalta has helped me – because the pain in my feet is so bad .. and of course my problem has increased during the last year and I pray that my new medicine is going to be better.
Gabapentin, is the name of the little “evil” pill. A medicine for epilepsy with a side effect list longer than my yearly UK-shopping list.
I’m not a person that easily give up … or give in – but as I feel today I don’t want to be on this playground anymore. To survive cancer and end up with this “shit” doesn’t feel fair to me. At least not today.
Neither do I want to dwell in my health problems here on my blog – it’s not the right platform, but I feel so lonely in all this just now. I feel so helpless and maybe that is the biggest issue in all this. That I’m not able to do anything.
“The dark might be dark,
but at least we don’t have to look at ourselves
when we’re standing in it.”
Craig D. Lounsbrough