Here in Sweden do we have a TV commercial that says; Doesn’t matter where the tumor was located … it will always go to the head. Nothing is more true than that.
I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2010 after nearly 10 months of pain … but when the tumor was found everything happen in high speed, less than 14 days was I on the operation table.
When I was told that they had found a tumor bigger than a golf ball .. the thought that I could die from it was never there. Even when they told me that they couldn’t promise me anything – never did I feel fear or was worried over the outcome.
My treatment was 7 very intense weeks … with radio therapy and chemo on the same time. The last 2 weeks my body gave up and I became very ill … and the last 10 days of my treatment was horrific and there wasn’t one day that I didn’t want to die.
Here I’m 5 years later … still going strong – still buying a pair of shoes every month .. travelling like never before and l trying to enjoy life so much as I can. The second chance hasn’t come free for me – I have server side effect from my treatment, mostly from the radio therapy, that was very tough – 37 days with 5 points per day.
You would think that the longer time that goes from the treatment the better you will get – NO!!!!! Still problems pops up because of the treatment. I suppose that my middle part of my body is like a high voltage micro wave.
Today the fear of dying pops up so soon my body is behaving strange or some new pain accrue. The ghosts is there straight away. I can’t say if it the fear of dying … or the package cancer comes in that scares the life out of me.
If you have danced with the demon once … you don’t want a second chance.
For about 4 weeks did my lower part of my body ….. really got a life of it’s own … not going into details. First I don’t think so much about it … not something the accrued every day … but it happen more frequent and during my may days in Skagen, Denmark, it all went scary. Phoned my doctor and he told me to contact the hospital, but it’s summer and staff shortage of course. So I had to wait 14 days for before see one of my doctors, have 6 in total.
My mental status has been in my shoes … and ghosts has been flying every day and night. I went to hiding like an wounded animal for a couple of days. Just took the duvet over my head … 24/7 – no summer anyway. After a couple of days I took myself by the neck … enough is enough!
And I decided that if I have got the cancer back I would empty my bank accounts … and travel until I dropped – and suddenly I could face reality.
This morning I was at the hospital …. there is problems, but not were my cancer was. Not everything was fine, but what there is I have to live with. My doctor did a very meticulous examination and it was so painful, but I didn’t really care.
It was like winning on the lottery ….
My gynecologist has said that the chance that I will get it back now after such a long time is …. 1/1000, but that doesn’t help when things happen.
So now I’m up for a new examination of my colon – which they say cause my problem, which I can live with, because the colon has been damaged too … so I can understand the problem.
Now I can enjoy my 5 nights in Warsaw – take off on Friday morning .. and it looks that the weather is going to be on my side.
Many have said that they are amazed that I manage to travel with my constant problems … not difficult at all .. it a lot more fun to have a “sorry ass” and numb feet in Istanbul, Tokyo or Warsaw … then at home. Only to make sure that the lucky pills are packed.
“You have to healthy to be sick”
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