chr’s kloka ord – words of wisdom, #10


christer 9“Nyfikenhet har get upphov till
många underliga sängkamrater”

I don’t know about you – but for me this quote is spot on … can’t say I have been very curious when it comes to partners and sex, but when it happened *smile

I wouldn’t maybe call them bedmates, for me it has been nearly only about lovers. But there has been a few bedmates too, mostly females – but even a few male.

Never been married, I think mostly because my mum’s marriages (4) never lasted and also that 95%  the people I know well isn’t today with the person they married the first time around. Very few has proven that marriage works. Also I have been to busy with my work, that has made me move around quite often for nearly 28 years of my adult life. But even if I sound cynical, I believe in love.


I have 2 fantastic engagements behind me, both on 8 years .. with 2 very different men, but so fantastic in their personality and against me. First finance was Hans Joachim …. Germany diesel engine developer with VW, we meet 1978. Second man was Torbjörn, wonderful Swedish man … and so good looking. We met in 1989, when I was still living with another man, but under separation.

Before, in between and after my engagements had I have some fantastic and passionate relationships and I had some less fantastic, a few I have introduced you to – they have all together made me to the woman I’m today in a relationship. So thankful for them all.

After my cancer journey, relationship hasn’t been very high up on my “bucket list” – mostly because of the problems and aftermaths it has given me. Do I miss being in a relationship, not really – but there is times.I have my friends and they are far more important … and I have shared bed with nearly all of them *smile

But there is nothing so wonderful as being enamored and plus it’s the worlds’s best diet too. *smile

36 thoughts on “chr’s kloka ord – words of wisdom, #10

      • I’m smiling with coffee this morning and reading all about Cathy’s adventures in Puerto Rico (Nomad Interrupted). She’s packing for China in a few days time. Exciting stuff 🙂 Hugs, darlin’.

      • I have been over and wishing her a good trip. I was in China in the late 70’s just after Mao’s death …. I’m sure that I will stuggle to find my way around Shanghai those days.
        I’m packing soon too …. exciting stuff !!!! *laughing.

      • I dread to think how much packing you will have! Something tells me that you don’t travel skimpily, but you’re bound to have less than Cathy 🙂 I’m excited for you too!
        I barely need to pack for the Algarve. Just grab a couple of bits- a book or 2 usually and any favourite Summer tops that won’t get worn again here this year.

      • You’re so right …. I was only teasing you about my packing.
        Bought new super-light suitcase, Samsonite. Haven’t heard anything about my fire damaged ones yet.
        I have never travel light – worried about my packing for Japan. Need about 80 pads, because of my bladder problems. Have checked on internet – Tena have an Japanese website … but ???!!!
        I have become a bit better regarding clothes and shoes … and mostly handbags. Only need one for evening and daytime. But a backpack traveler I will never be. *smile

      • Vivi – as Tena is very widely advertised Down Under I cannot see you would not be able to buy the goods where you are going!! People all over the world have the same problems, let’s face it 🙂 !

      • Eha, Tena is a Swedish product – made in Gothenburg … and everyone with medical Urinary Incontinence get them for free. If I want to buy them, are the cheaper in UK than in Sweden, so strange – very expensive in Sweden and even more expensive in USA.
        I have answered Japan that I think they should put the translation for the pads on their website, because there is loads of embarrassment connected to the problem, not that I’m embarrassed. *smile Thank you so much for trying to help me.
        There is days that I need up to 4 per day … that is means nearly a cabin bag with only pads.
        They can’t operate me for my problem, because of the scare tissue inside me after the removal of the tumor.

      • No, problem …. I wrote to Japan’s health care, they have an English website and they told me that they have Tena or something similar, but if I wanted it translated into Japanese it will cost me 1100 yen. They have translated most things like tampons and condoms already for free, but not Tena pads. ???? Very strange that they want money for giving me the Japanese word for it. *smile

    • Debby, thank you so much … for your lovely comment. ‘
      Not even as a young girl did I dream about a wedding – it has never been in my life plan for some reason, neither has children.

  1. Yes, there are ‘bedmates’ and ‘lovers’ and one may oft segue into the other . . . and they DO make us the persons we are today . . . Well, I managed to marry two and almost three others [they kept on ‘crossing the river’ ere matters were formalized!] and [hmm!] still keep a few most interested!!!! . . . . surely one of the gorgeous aspects of being a female . . . .

      • Yes, it’s one of the most romantic classical pieces I know – but the whole opera is so beautiful. Thought it was suitable for this post.

    • I totally agree with you – but when it’s about keeping an interest alive I think men are far better than us women. *smile
      Good on you, Eha. *smile

      I do think that Christer meant bedmates, from his years in Paris during the late 60’s- living together with the transsexuals.

      Bedmates for me, is friends … my girlfriends that I have shared bed with during the years … and a couple of male friends too – when they have been too tired for go where ever they were supposed to go. *laughing.

  2. You know, Vivi, ‘Butterfly’ was the first opera I was taken to and to which my husband and I took our daughters . . . .at the end both [about 4-5 / 6-7 sat there quietly crying and being very happy . . . I knew they understood and I was very happy too . . . .

    • It was mine too … and a very handsome Greek man who took me … so beautiful, such a sad story … and I seen it at Royal Albert Hall about 8 years ago too.
      I think together with Carmen it’s an opera that is very suitable for first time viewers, easy to understand and so fantastically beautiful.
      Love your little story .. and your daughter has romantic souls and hearts too.

      • Babs . . . look up above about ‘Tena’ – methinks you will not have to cart your whole lot around ., . . loves Eha

  3. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself, Viveka. I’m sure you have some fantastic love stories you can share. You don’t seem to have any sour feelings about any of the people you were with, but just gratitude. As for me, I’m a strange one in this modern world. I’ve had one bedmate and I’m happy with that. We’ve been married 29 years. We all live the life we are called to live. 🙂

    • Lori, I have always said … I have to sleep in the bed I made – or something like that translated in Sweden. No use crying over spilled milk neither – I have made my own choices in life and in love – and sometimes they wasn’t the best, but on the other hand … they were my choices and even bad experience is something good that we learn from. *smile – My “bedmates” as never been truly bad or awful.
      I was quite up in age before when I had my first lover and it’s not like I have tried to make up for lost time *laughing.
      Lori, so luck and I’m so happy that marriage are working for you both and I have “met” so many ladies through my blogging that have been married for many years and still happy. Because I really believe in love and stories like yours make me all soft and fluffy at heart. So happy for you both. 29 years .. magical.

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