Is in her own home.
Saw a shocking TV program about men that kills women. About women that has been killed by their husbands and partners.
“Men who murder women” is a Swedish documentary from 2014. The dangerous place for women in Sweden is the own home. Killed each year an average of 17 women by their current or former husband. (text: TV4.se)
I’m a very tolerant person – and broad minded, but I despise any kind of abuse. If I see it and able to interfere I do it there and then – if I hear, but not see it … or it’s too severer for me to do anything myself I call the police.
In our long and very beautiful country, Sweden – we are only 9,5 million people and every 3rd week a woman is killed by the man that she are in relationship with or have been, killed in her own home.
Knife is the most common murder weapon – kitchen knifes – because they are there … inside the home.
If this is the figures in our little country – what will it be in others.
I have been working for many years in a very abusive environment – the kitchen, verbally by two female bosses.
I was sexual abuse/harassed by one of my male bosses for about 4 years. I reported it, but nobody did anything about it. In the end I manage to work around it and not put myself in a situation where I was going to be alone with him out of sight for others. 40% of my working day was to plan how to avoid being alone with him.
When I was 20 years old and worked in Copenhagen I was in relationship with a fantastic man … 8 years older than me, a semi-professional boxer.
He was never abusive against me as such, but he had bad temper – and ended up in fights when there was alcohol involved. He had been suspended by his club and he had also a court case against him at the time, but he had never showed any threatening tendencies against me.
But one Saturday evening we had planned to go out for a meal, he had been away the whole day playing pool – and came home after our pre-booked time at the restaurant. I was on my way to leave the house on my own, when he arrived home. There was an argument over he wanted me to wait for him – but I said no. I was going on my own. Then he hit me, I flew across the living room and landed in a corner. It took me a while to realize what had happen and he had just left me there – gone back to the pool bar.
He could have killed me with his powerful fist … and I made my mind up there and then – one time too many.
So I packed an overnight bag – and left – asked the hotel where I was working if they had a room free for a couple of nights, and of course they helped me out.
He came looking after me at the hotel, but they told me that they hadn’t seen me for the whole weekend.
I knew that he was going away for 5 days for work the following week. Then I quite my job – packed my things and took the train back to mum in Gothenburg.
I didn’t dare to stay because I knew he was coming to look for me and I had to look over my shoulder all the time if I stayed in Copenhagen.
He phoned my mum and asked if I was there, but she said no – but when he informed her that he had to contact the police and report me missing, I had to come forward.
But he never looked me up in Sweden.
So when I saw this program … some of the women was killed in front of their children, I was so happy that I had the sense to do what I did. Just leave.
In US are they not allowed to show naked bodies or not even a naked breast on TV – but they show films where women and even men are being abused and beaten to death … in domestic violence scenes. How wired is that.
Of course men are being abused to by their partners too and I can image what a difficult situation that must be. Saw a film with Peter Strauss many years ago, Men Don’t Tell (1993), where he was abused by his wife. A true story. A great film about domestic violence.
In UK is about two in five of all victims of domestic violence are men.
DID YOU KNOW – US figures:
One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.
An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.
85% of domestic violence victims are women.
Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.
Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.
Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner.
In 70-80% of intimate partner homicides, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before the murder.
Less than one-fifth of victims reporting an injury from intimate partner violence sought medical treatment following the injury.
Intimate partner violence results in more than 18.5 million mental health care visits each year. (text: http://www.ncadv.org/)
So I beg you to make that phone call to the police if you hear something next door … or see anything.
Maybe contact the woman when she is home alone, offer her your time and ears … tell her that you’re there for her.
A woman that has been abused has very low self confidence – she often blame herself for that her partner is getting angry, because in between the beating he is the nicest guy – he often buys her presents afterwards and beg for forgivness – but it will happens again and one day it can be that last blow.
And also for the sake of the children …. it’s better to make one phone call too many – than not make any at all.
“Don’t play his game. Play yours.”
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