while i’m gone

“I thought that things like this get better with time
But I still need you, why is that?”

My “sorry ass” and me are just trying to get along the best we can – but we are not dancing to the same tune yet. I have decided that I will stay away from my online world until things has gone better and I can sit properly to enjoy yours and mine here. 

It has been a lot of discomfort, tears … and pain killers lately.

Good news is that they have now passed me on to experts at Malmö University Hospital – that are specialists on colon problems after radio therapy. Don’t know when they will call me for an appointment.

But I will go ahead with my planned trip to Belfast, Scotland and Dublin as planned, have been thinking of cancel the trip, but I can let the cancer still dictate to me – and letting  the aftermaths stopping me for living the life I want to live. Going to pack my lucky pills and be high as a skyscraper if so needed to.

I will meet up with my friends and old colleagues, eat good, shop, laugh, be a 100% tourist, visit my dentist, a couple of fantastic Mojitos and get my hair done by Julie  …  and just enjoying being back. Leaving on Monday, 18th of November and back home on the 30th in the evening.

During my visit to NYC in September my problems just disappeared and I hope for the same will be for this trip, but the flight is only 1hr 50 min to Dublin.

swan with problems

You that read my last post – after the storm – I want to inform you that the young swan has been taken care off now and in rehabilitation, they sent me an email today to tell me the great news. So they have kept an eye on “him” for me.

So there is really more great news than bad … for the moment.

Please, don’t forget me during my absence – I promise I will be back so soon I’m able to. I miss you all so much – and one thing is for sure I will not forget you.

“Never forget me, because if I thought you would,
I’d never leave.”
A. A. Milne

Dont-Forget-Me  - iwantcovers com

Photos provided by and thanks to; iwantcovers.com & thetastyalternative.com

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76 thoughts on “while i’m gone

  1. Happy about swan! Sad about your situation. But I’m glad you are going. I’ll miss you but think about you lots along with daily Tonglen in meditation. Love you – Mary

    • Yes, I’m happy about the swan too …. I suppose there will be a light in the end of the tunnel for me too. I wished the town game keeper could solve my problem too. *smile Mary, thanks for your fantastic support.
      Miss you …. a lot.

  2. Have a wonderful trip, Viveka. Life must be lived at all costs, and you’re such a positive person. I really hope that your problems disappear again so that you vcan enjoy your time with your friends. So happy for the swan, that he’s being well cared for. Of course I won’t forget you. *hugs* 🙂

    • Sylvia, I’m sure I will have a great time – I always have .. and I really miss my old my home city, Belfast. One of the best … I hope the same, but I have still some lucky pills … ready to be packed.
      Yes, they thought he would be able to carry on with life with the wing problem – but it didn’t seem so. So long he are looked after and getting help.
      Hugs back!

  3. I’m glad the swan is doing better.
    I wish you were. I’m so impressed with your fortitude and determination to continue doing all you can. I’ll be here missing you, not forgetting you, and waiting for your return.

    Have a wonderful time, and safe travels!!

  4. Oh dear Viveka, I am sorry to hear your problems… But you are amazing and strong woman, and I do believe everything will be fine. I am so glad about swan too… You can’t believe but you were with me (with us) last weekend 🙂 Do you know why? We made a short trip with my love to the Aegean coast and I took your nostalgic cds to the car for listen to them 🙂 So you were with us, we sang the songs that you collected for me… It was so beautiful… On the road I talked about you too… as if we met in the real life too… Thank you my beautiful lady, how possible to forget you, you are very special. My best wishes and my positive energy always for you, have a nice journey and get enjoy! Blessing and Happiness, love, nia

    • Nia, thank you so much for bringing me along with you … on your trip. So glad that my music makes your day bright and happy too.
      I’m sure they will sort my problems out – it only that the road there seems endless … but my trip to Ireland & Scotland will do me a lot of good.
      Nia, thank you so much for you wonderful and kind words, means to much to me *smile

  5. My dear Viveka, make the most of your trip where it will most likely be like when you went to NY – pain free! Take care of yourself and have fun! Needless to say – I will miss you and of course will still be here when you come back – fresh – with no pains and completely healed too! 🙂

    • Suzuanne, thanks a million … I will put my trust in the lucky pills if it has to. This the first day by the computer – for a whole week and I can only sit for about 30 min time. So feed up with the whole thing. But changes will happen soon I hope.

    • Leo, thank you … I normally always have a nice trip – went only 6 weeks after my treatments was over and done – the best thing I could have done, even if I was so tired. Best medicine on earth, Irish and Scottish hospitality. *smile

  6. Love you, Vivi. Just reading Nia’s message brings a lump to the throat. I’ll be thinking of you, and know that you will be with friends who love you too. Have a wonderful trip. Please God the experts can find a solution soon.
    Big hugs 🙂

    • Jo, hopefully there will be a brown envelop on my return to Malmö – just so sickened by it all .. and that there is no relief what so ever anymore.
      Saw that you have posted about your Barcelona and that you visit my favorite restaurant – I will go through all comments so soon I’m able to sit properly.
      Yes, Nia’s message had me in tears … she are a such lovely soul and heart – just like you.

    • Maralee, nobody has contacted me yet … but I wasn’t expecting such a fast reaction from them.
      it must be much better for me to have my problems having a great time than being home alone with them.
      I wish you and Mr a great weekend.

  7. I’m so sorry to hear that your sorry butt is being a pain in the a.. again 😦
    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I admire your stamina and your positive thinking! 😀 Good on you, to travel to Belfast and enjoy every single second of your trip – with our without being high on painkillers ;-)!!!
    Many hugs and xoxoxo 🙂

  8. Enjoy your visit in Ireland. Hopefully it will be pain free. I hope the weather is good. If you’re near Howth, check it out but you don’t want to be on those cliffs in bad weather. Have a pint or a glass of wine with your friends. Good food and drink and the company of good friends will cheer you up and keep you warm. Looking forward to some great stories and photos when you return. My prayers are with you. Carol

    • I will stay away from all cliffs when I’m over there …. I think it’s more shopping than sea side for me – in Belfast. But I will sail over to Stranraer in Scotland … but I have sealegs.
      Carol, there is a place in Belfast called CoCo and they do the best Mojitos in the world, I think. So I will have a couple of them. ‘smile and the food is good too.
      I have packed warm clothing, but I think it’s still mild over here, We have mild days but they are talking about winter weather now here in the South.
      Carol, thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and caring.
      I wish a pleasant weekend.

  9. Viveka, have a wonderful, relaxing and hopefully free- from- pain trip! Knowing your swan is OK and the trip before made you feel OK – this one will most certainly be a nice trip with friends, good food and all.

    We’ll be here waiting for you!

    • Thanks, A-C …. it can be worst over on Ireland and Scotland than here at home. If it goes to bad there is hospitals there too and maybe they will find out what has to be done.
      Have packed an extra memory card for the camera … so there will be posts on my return. *smile
      Until then be careful … they are talking about winter.
      Talk to you soon. Lots … and hugs from Wivi

  10. Enjoy the trip to Dublin. And may it all turn out really nice. I hope all the best for you – and, no, we won’t forget you. Look forward to hearing more from you when you feel better.

    • Otto, about Ireland I have always said that it’s the place that you want to return to before you left. *smile
      Doesn’t matter if it’s to the Republic of the North.
      I promise I will not forget you … and I’m sure that RAM will be full of things to share.

  11. Safe travels. It will be interesting to see how your body responds to the travel. There is so much power and healing in friends, humor and laughter. But be smart too. cheers my dear. xx wendy

    • Wendy, I used the doll yesterday – I was so feedup !! Poor thing against the ktichen table.
      Maybe I should be travelling all the time … I wonder if our National Health Care will pay for my travel.
      I promise to stay smart and safe.
      Pleasant weekend … to you and everybody around you.

  12. Wivi, I hope you are keeping better, and delighted to know you will be back in Belfast soon. If you let me know when you plan to be here, then I can make sure that I’m off work that day. It’s been too long, and I look forward to seeing you back here.

    I also loved the blog about Wallander, even mentioning about the BBC version, featuring Belfast born, Kenneth Brannagh.

    Hoping you keep well, and hope to see you here soon.

    • Hi there, Barry …. coming on Monday and leaving on Friday for Stranraer. The dance program is quite filled up – but we maybe could have breakfast on my hotel on Friday morning. Staying at Alfred Street, Premier Inn,. Would love to catch up with you.

      I’m just mad about Wallander … Kenneth is an excellent actor, but our Krister Henriksson is the best – he are Wallander. *smile

      Have a great weekend.

    • Frank, thanks a million …. I’m sure I will enjoy my trip – and I will be on my feet the whole days.
      I miss you, guys so much – but it’s nice with a online-break, but I wish the reason was less discomfortable.
      Have a fanastic weekend and get the dancing shoes on.

      • You trip will be wonderful. I’m in a getaway mode myself because of various circumstances (my last post explains) … but the post before that was our handbell premier!

    • Hi there, Sandra … in town from Friday to Monday afternoon – Sunday evening am I free. Staying at the Wateerfront. Or we can maybe have lunch on Saturday in town???

  13. You are always missed when we don’t hear from you but you could never be forgotten. Wishing you a wonderful trip sharing good times with your friends and hoping it will be pain free. Happy to learn that your swan is being looked after.

    • Karen, so. Sorry I have missed you lovely comment here. Now in Scotland spending a full day with my friends and their little charmer to boy, Lewis – 19 months old. Tomorrow lunch with girlfriend. My days in Belfast was just brilliant and Monday down to Dublin.

  14. I am a little late on this one, but I hope you are feeling better. Enjoy your trip to Dublin and take lots of pictures! I can’t wait to see what you saw.

    You are always missed. I can’t believe you would even think otherwise 🙂

    • Thanks … it seems to be a every second day issue for me – yesterday was really bad, but today has been okay – but I haven’t been sitting much neither today.

      The little camera is fully charged and extra memory card is packed.

      See in a couple of weeks time and hopefully I will filled with loads to share.

      Have a lovely weekend.

    • Noeleen, just wonderful to be back and to meet up with my friends that I only see once per year. I had never heard the song before neither, just fell in love with this version. Never heard Beyonce’s version. Thanks for the visit.

  15. No matter how far you are, or how long you are away, your words of wisdom of self-love and care are with me everyday. Have a safe and happy trip and my heart goes out to you with the unexpected plot twists of life.

  16. You are so, so strong Viveka. I admire you immensely. I am glad that you had the beautiful opportunity to travel and see your friends (as I am reading backwards!), Being a tourist is wonderful, and seeing some of the big world we live in reminds us that our problems can be small in comparison. Hugs xxx

    • Laura, had a fantastic time so far – 2 days left of my 12 days tour. In Dublin just now – very mild, but overcast.
      Thank you so much for your faithful support – I don’t know if I’m that strong … don’t have much of choice and I can’t let my life to be on hold because of problems that I seems to have to live with for the rest of my life.
      Big morning hug.

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