my 6 months of ups and downs (1)

lonely rose

It has been it have  a very strange 6 months that has passed for me – first with my mom’s departure … and all the tumult around, some things I had to learn the hard way.

Mom wanted to leave – she didn’t want to flight anymore … and her quality of life had decreased so much after the eye-infection that she got and the medicine that she had to take made her completely blind – so she couldn’t watch TV or make her own porridge in the morning- She just had enough and I don’t blame her – she was a fighter that just had enough. I think of her every day and she keeps my heart warm.

But it wasn’t not only mom I had to say goodbye too – also the beautiful and peaceful Simrishamn, where mom lived. This stunning little fishing town by the Baltic Sea that I visit a couple of times every month. I have been back to visit friends, but no really the same thing yet with mom not being there. Not yet!!!!

This year I found out that two of my old colleagues are living in Simrishamn and we met up a couple of times this summer, Ewa and Edmund – spent some fantastic times and days with them, they showed me around the areas outside Simrishamn that I didn’t know excite.  Ewa I hadn’t seen for over 20 years and Edmund nearly 6 years. So they have given me new reasons to go back to Simrishamn.

Then I got my “sorry ass” problem in the beginning of June – but didn’t really seek any medical help until the middle of August and that has been a journey too – that I think it is solved now, but I still have days of real discomfort but no “ass on fire” anymore and I hope it will stay that way. The highlight was of course the colonoscopy in the end of August.

We had the most beautiful summer this year – the spring was very sunny, but so chilly and a bit late, but when it had arrived there was nothing that could stop it – and the sun has been on our back in most parts of Sweden for over 5 months.

Very little rain, but when it rained it was fast and heavy. There has been many highlights too during the past months and there has been photos taken, but because of my butt problems I haven’t been able to sit long enough to make any longer post, edit photos or even find motivation for blogging. So here I’m with a huge amount of photo folders that I now going to work my way through.

Not much cooking to do posts from – haven’t really put my soul into neither recipes nor photos – there have been a few and some will be posted. There has been many “eating out” lunches this summer, mostly fish and seafood  – big and small – and some fast food too. And of course the breakfasts in NYC.

I have read that a post shouldn’t contain more than a maxium of 500 words and I’m on 561 just now – so it has be a 2 posts more. But I talk a lot too. *smile

When I did decided on doing this series of post from and about my past 6 months, it came to me when I listen to some of my favorite classical pieces and when I saw that I will be able to share them with you, my grey un-damaged cells started to work. 631 words … and I see you later and soon.

“Thank you for life,
and all the little ups and downs that make it worth living”
Travis Barker

sailor lady birds.

65 thoughts on “my 6 months of ups and downs (1)

  1. Dear Viveka! Thank you for taking us into your life. It’s been a tough time yet it sparkles as you describe your thoughts and feelings. Life is what it is, but always wonderful in sometimes unexpected ways as your pictures show. The music is yet another connection because for me, too, it is always there.

    It’s early here. I’m warming up the car for a trip into the wintry north to see my daughter (herself a grandmother) who may be nearing the end of her “journey”. I carry your pictures and words with me, reminders that there is beauty in every moment, and we are never alone.

    • I agree, life is what it’s … some parts of we can control over … but not all. Mom was nearly 91 – I was lucky I had her for many years.
      Drive carefully – and stay save … sorry to read about your daughter, but her end can’t be by natural cause ??? Becuase she is still young, even if grandmother. My thoughts are with you both.
      I love what you wrote here that there is beauty in every moment .. and we are not alone. How wonderful said.

  2. Welcome back Viveka… and I got your post just before our lunch time so now I’m ready to eat after having had my taste buds tickled by your food photos… you can make you posts as long as you like.. I love to read them…
    It’s been a tough six months for you and life has sent you a few hiccups along the way.. these happen sometimes when we could do without them, like losing your Mum and then getting a burning tail pipe… but from what I’ve learnt about you here, you will bounce back with a vengeance and we will get to share more of your life again… keep strong and fight on forward…

    • Rob, just love having a boyfriend like you in my life. *smile
      You always bring joy to me.
      There are a couple of months left off my 6 months, but there will only be ups … that is what I’m planning.
      It wasn’t so much that mom left me …. It was all the aftermath with practical problems that worn me down. What a carry on. Mom had to leave one day … and we had talked about it, of course I miss her – but I don’t do with sadness. And only 4 days before she died she told me … that the old engine was done.
      Maybe the stress around moms death was what put my butt on fire, because it started just a week after her death.

  3. The village of Simrisham looks like a wonderful place. Thank you for the tour. I hope things continue smoothly for you now. Take it easy and enjoy each day with music, good food and friends.

    • Angleline, totally agree …. music, good food and friends is was make live so pleasant even when the butt is on fire.
      Simrishamn is such beautiful spot, packed in the summer … dead in the winter, but still beautiful.

  4. An enormously difficult 6 months for you and my heart goes out to you Viveka. I admire so much you continue to shine through. Thank you for our friendship and send lots of love to you – Juliexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    • Julie, your words means to much to me and so do our friendship! Thank you so much for being you.
      There has been a lot more ups than downs … and the 6 months is not over yet.
      Mom’s depature – in itself wasn’t that hard to deal with .. because she had prepered me and she was nearly 91 – she didn’t want to fight anymore. And missing her and thinking of her gives me joy, not sadness.

  5. It can only get better from here Viveka. Pretty soon you could go back to Simrisham and realize why your mother was happy there. It is a quaint village, beautiful! And I am just having coffee now with an untoasted bagel with butter – nothing like the ones you posted, you just made me hungry. Have a wonderful week!

    • Thanks, a million … Bec.
      I love Simrishamn and I wanted to move there when returning after all my years in UK, but it’s on the wrong side of the county and I’m going back to see my friends there next month. I’m so glad that I have friends there – new and old … that takes me back.
      I wouldn’t mind a bagel now … love bagel and coffee. Over here in Sweden you can’t get bagels anywhere – nobody does them. I want one now.
      Thanks for you lovely comment.

  6. What beautiful photographs! I’m glad you’re feeling better. My mother has been gone for 20 years now and I still think of her almost daily but it does get easier over time. I’m looking forward to more of those amazing pictures.

    • Yes, if feels like the medicine is working .. only so painful to take.
      My mom prepered me so well for her depature … I knew when it was time and that helped me so much. I miss and think about her everyday, but I don’t do with sadness – she was nearly 91 … and it was such a blessing for her to be able to leave.
      There will be more … stories and photos – only takes time to get it together. Next week – part 2.
      Thanks for stopping and for your lovely comment.

    • Thank you so much … I don’t know about God and his needs so much – but mom needed a good rest, but I’m sure that she is very pleased over being where she is.
      Thanks for you kind words .. very nice of you.

  7. A feast for the eyes and the stomache, Vivi! Just a small piece of apple cake, or do I want chocolate or lime cheesecake? Maybe I should just have coffee!
    Simrishamn is picture perfect. Your Mum must have loved it there when she could get out and about. I love the fairytale castle that lists on its side (yes, I know that’s an effect- it’s too early for wine 🙂 ) And the boats with the Swedish flags.
    Onwards and upwards, hon! It’s been a rough ride and I suspect a lot has to do with saying goodbye to your Mum, however resolved you were to let her go. Happy days ahead, Vivi. Enjoy your wanderings.

    • Yes, mum love her little town – for the last 1,5 hours she didn’t visit the town … because they have cobble streets and it was painful for her sitting in a wheel chair.
      There is only happy days ahead .. in my coming posts.
      That apple cake we had at the apple cider factory – you would love a visit – everything is so green and nice .. great products and great food. Massive tourist attraction with tours on the factory too … in the spring when all their apple trees are blooming .. is’t so heartbreaking beautiful.

  8. You’re the strongest friend I know Viveka, your views and your thoughts on the world around you has always been my inspiration in both my writing and the wish to discover the world. Especially your photos, I want to go everywhere you’ve been in these ones! 🙂

    Ps: Perfect music accompaniment lol 😀

    • You’re a such a sweetheart – thank you so much for your wonderful words here.
      But to be an inspiration for your writing .. that was big news, but I know nothing about poem .. *smile
      I just love having you in my world. Andy, thank you so much.

  9. Wow Viv! What a post. I am sorry for your loss and I am glad to hear your ‘fire’ is smoldering. Your post is beautiful and the pictures of a work of art! 🙂

  10. Viveka, I can imagine how much you miss your mom. My mom is still alive but I have lost my dad. And her little town is beautiful.

    I am amazed at the colors and scenes you find every where you go. I’m so impressed with Sweden, because of you.

    • Uru, thank you so much – mum is okay where she is.
      Yes, there is beauty all around us – but sometimes we are not able to see it.
      Thanks for the support.

  11. I’ve so enjoyed riding along with you, Viveka, both in your up times and also the down moments. Your food pics are so wickedly delicious, and I’m so glad your ass is no longer a ‘sorry’ one. I really look forward to your forthcoming attractions. xx

    • Sylvia, thank you so much .. yes, it has been long road with the pain … but a lot better, but still not the old ass .. have to talk to the doctor about it. Still a lot of discomfort, but at least I can sit down to have my breakfast. *smile
      There will be another one coming up next week.
      No more downs .. only ups. *smile
      Have been spending most of my weekend working my through my photos – nearly 6000 in total. 2 cards.

  12. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to visit your mother’s town. It would indeed be strange not to have a home to go to and walk in. I think these life events take a greater toll on us for a lot longer than we think, Viveka. I’m glad you’ve found some highlights as well! xx

    • Barbara, it’s not difficult to visit … it’s something missing there only – I been back 4 times .. and I enjoy, but I would love to open that door and say … “It’s me” – Now you made me all emotional. *smile
      She became 91 .. I was lucky. It’s the circle of life .. and I don’t wanted to tell her to hold on .. when she wanted to leave.
      There has been so many fantastic ups .. during those months and there will be more.
      Thank you so much for your lovely words and support, Barbara.

  13. I think these words show your healing – I think of her every day and she keeps my heart warm…. cheers to that.

    Your eye for the picture continues to impress me. … you have a gift, so thanks for sharing with us here. Now about that soft ice cream treat … I assume that wasn’t yours!

    • Frank, thank you so much for your kind words and your always be there for me!
      Yes, the ice cream was mine – my bag in the background … and for once I sat down there in the harbor and took my time eating and enjoying it. My last soft ice for this year.

      • I don’t think there is so much calories in soft ice – it’s very healthy because it contains sea weed – that is what make soft ice smooth.
        It’s only 154 kcal per 100g – so about 400 in mine.

      • The thing is .. me like you love our ice cream … and my doctor told many years ago about how healthy soft ice is.
        No itching yet .. maybe it doesn’t work in this terrible storm we have over us just now. *smile

      • Frank, it came yesterday lunch time … and it hit us hard – not many trains running today and electricity on too many places here in our county. Walked to the hospital this morning and our beautiful parks has lost many trees, but I don’t think anyone have been killed or seriously injured. Over … but still windy out there.

      • Yes, I feel so sorry for those people, the trains are up and running again. Here in Landskrona have the worked the full day with take broken trees away in our parks. Simone was the name on storm.

  14. My beautiful friend, dear Viveka, I know how hard days to pass without her, but she is living with us, I do believe this. I am always happy when I hear you, please take care of yourself, and be happy whatever you want to do… As always your photographs fascinated me and made me hungry too. Thank you dear, have a nice day, love, nia

    • Nia, thank you so much for your support and friendship .. and for the lovely words.
      To honest Nia, my days without mom was been very calm … becasue I know she are were she want to be. There isn’t a day that I don’t think or talk about her .. or talk to her, but it hasn’t been that hard to except that she isn’t here anymore. Doesn’t sound strange ????
      Maybe she prepared me well.

  15. Beauty in those photos, Viveka. I’m so pleased to hear that you are more comfortable now, though not quite 100% yet. I can imagine that the town where your mom lived is not the same right now. I admire your strength through these things. I also enjoy the classical music. It’s easier to read your blog by too. 🙂

  16. You’ve had a rollercoaster 6 months haven’t you! And you know my mum died 20 years ago, and yes I still think of her everyday… it’s the way it is. Beautiful and sad at the same time.
    But now you are back in the blogging frame of mind it’s a bonus for those of us who follow you, as ever your photography is spot on. I think my favourite s are from your mum’s village, it’s something to do with the light and the colour blue that appeals to me so much.

  17. I’m HAPPY your “sorry ass” is better now and it’s not too much on fire anymore, you poor thing 😉
    As with your mom, I believe you two had a very special relationship from all I’ve read from you before her passing away and I trust she’s always in your heart.
    Big hug xo 🙂 and take care of yourself! 🙂

    • Dia, thanks for your support … and my sorry as is just a bit uncomfortable now – but no fire *smile
      My mum and was never that close really – because when I was a child she wasn’t around and when I become an adult I was never around … but there was a very special bound, like two really good friends … I talk to her every day. Ask for advice …
      Anyhow there has been a lot more ups than downs during my half year and there will be stories told.
      Big hug in return.

  18. So sorry to hear about your mum Vivika, and that you have been having a rough time, hope that thing get better soon. I love your food photos makes me hungry to just look at them. And what a beautiful little fishing town your Mum lived in. Feel better soon my friend. Love Linda.

    • Linda, it wasn’t that rough with mom’s departure .. she didn’t have a great quality of life the 6 months of her life .. and she became 91. It was all the practical stuff that got to me .. it was hard going.
      Yes, Simrishamn is a truly beautiful spot .. but always windy .. and with yesterdays class 4 strom, I was glad I wasn’t there.
      Thank you so much for your caring.

    • Thanks, Karen ..
      sorry for not coming back to you earlier, but I had a bad week and blogging hasn’t been on my do-it-list at all – feeling a bit better today.
      I hope you still have a great weather on your path and that you’re travelling safe.

  19. Hope it is only up from here on Viveka. How wonderful that you can revisit Simrishamn with dear old friends. Look forward to going along with you. Love your food shots. Look forward to reading more of your simple recipes 🙂

    • Madhu, going back this weekend .. to visit friends again and I’m so looking forward to it. It’s over 6 weeks now.
      I was totally under the ice, because of my medical problems the whole last week .. and hopefully there will be some better motivation this week.
      Thanks for your kindly support.

  20. Oh Viveka, you truly do embrace life, & in that, you are inspiring.

    Amazing rundown of your last six months – but then joyous pictures throughout. How wonderful. It’s good how you go back, visit friends, though no it wouldn’t be the same without your mother there.

    Viveka, in it all, I love how you never lose your appetite!!! 🙂

  21. I am late to see this, I haven’t really been keeping up with my blog or anyone else’s for the past year or so. sorry to hear about your mother, but it sounds like she had a long full life. I hope 2014 brings you all the joys you can handle.

    • Tara, to catch up with missed posts – is a moment 22, thank you so much for giving me your time. Yes, my mom had a long life and she was very tired – so it was her choice to leave.
      I’m sure that 2014 is going to be a lot better than 2013.

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