.. before it will get any better – somebody has said! And there is so much truth in this quote.
I’m so sorry about my negative status yesterday … but I had a terrible day and it just went from bad to worst. Not like me to moan when I’m not feeling okay, but yesterday just drained me completely on everything.
Dear friends, please don’t feel bad because you can’t help me physically!!!! You are all helping me through you thoughts, wishes and prayers, through your comments and replays. So important to know that there you’re out there – thinking and worrying about me and my “sorry ass”.
During my journey through my cancer treatment I didn’t have this part of my world, my blog – but I used Facebook and my friends there dragged me through that journey, they carried and supported me when I felt sick and worried. I don’t know if I could have done it without them.
The support I get from you know is so important and I cherish it so much. So please don’t feel bad or helpless over my situation.
I asked the doctor at ER why I have got this problem now – exactly 3 years after my treatments was done. I left the hospital on 6h October 2010. He explained that I got very high doses of radio therapy, 5 per day in 35 days – and the area they irradiated can be like a micro wave for years after. Normally if there hasn’t been any side effects of the treatment in the first 3 years there will be none neither.
Side effects I have got my fair shares of; my numb feet and a sensitive bladder. The numb feet comes from the chemo treatment. Plus I got Lymphoedema in my right leg. Those side effects I have to live with for the rest of my life and it’s more than enough to try to live a normal life with and around. There is times it feels like my life has shrinked with 30% because of the treatments, but I know very well that if I hadn’t got them I would have 0% of my life left, I would have been dead today.
Now with my colon being irritated and inflamed on top of it, just happened be that last thing that tipped the iceberg for me. And it’s so painful too – not able to sit properly, walk or lay. It’s like walking around with my butt constantly on fire and with a very uncomfortable pressure in the lower “chassis”.
So I beg you not to feel bad about not able to help me – it’s being here for me is what is most important for me and it’s not like I’m dying, but this situation is driving me against the edge at times.
The medicine they have given me … is painful to take too, when the butt is sore – and bit difficult to take. But there is a little relief today and the fever has come down too – so maybe I been on the top of this mountain.
I’m so thankful for that I’m allowed and be able to need you ….
“I am a strong person, but every now and then,
I also need someone to take my hand
and say everything will be okay.”
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