long night towards morning

pain - regionshospital com

My body just said NO MORE!!!! … so last evening my “sorry ass” and I took a taxi to ER in Lund. Now am I back home and a bit wiser plus a medicine that hopeful will help.

My fever is connected to my “sorry ass” – and it’s all connected to my radio therapy that I got 3 years ago.  Got a lot of radio therapy during my cancer treatment in 2010 – and it has made both my bladder and my colon sensitive.

When I did my colonoscopy about 6 weeks ago they notice that my lower part of my colon was a bit irritated, but not a reason big enough to me the pain and discomfort, they told me then.

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Went down with high fever last Saturday evening and it has been glued to me since than. And yesterday I just came to breaking point.

So I have now spent 10 hours at ER  and I have a very high infection level …. and they are sure it relate to my butt problems, where they think I have an infection now in the lower part my colon, the same area that was irritated then.


“Entocort” is the medicine that they think will solve my problems, the most  awkward treatment I ever given to myself and not the most pleasant to take neither. Only have to take once per day … and when I gone to bed.  I don’t really care if I have to stand on my head to give myself a treatment … so long as it helps me. It can take up to 14 days before I can feel a relief and that feels endless to me just now.

Anyhow I have got help and I feel so much better just now – because I has in such bad mental state yesterday and it has been a long night towards morning.

Hopefully I will be able to come back to my world here soon, it all down to if I can sit or not … and I hope I will feel a relief quicker than they told me.

Chocolat-coupdepouce com

On the way home from the hospital I bought some handmade French chocolate pralines and I will now go under the duvet to sleep off my long night and fever. And with the pralines on my bedside table, but not for very long.

“In case of emerancy – give me chocolate.”

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91 thoughts on “long night towards morning

  1. Dear Viveka I was thinking of you yesterday, I am sorry to hear it was a difficult hours for you. I hope this medicine will be helpful for you dear. Thank you, love, nia

    • Nia, it has been going on for so long now … except during my days in NYC – don’t understand why I didn’t have any problems then – but I was glad I didn’t. It came back about 10 days ago and I had high fever since Saturday
      Nia, thanks for being such a wonderful friend and for caring.

      • Oh dear, I wish you to get well soon and all bad things remain in the past…You are in my thoughts always. You are welcome and have a nice evening and day, love, nia

      • Nia, I hope so too … because I had it for long time … and not be able to sit, walk or lay down .. is just terrible.
        I know that many women get this problems after giving birth … that they can sit because of instant pain after they split. Just terrible … don’t wise that for anyone.
        Nia, the same to you … have a pleasant evening.

  2. Poor Viveka. I feel so sorry for you and being on your own doesn’t help either. I hope this medication will help you. We will still be here when you are able to talk to us again. It’s horrible being in hospital so many hours, hubby and I have both done it. Wishing you all the best and a speedy recovery with your “sorry ass”.

    • Jo, yes … I totally agree – poor Viveka. * laughing.
      Even if I’m that kind of person that like to be alone when I don’t feel the greatest .. a bit like a wounded animal that goes to the side and lick the wounds. But it was truly wonderful with all the care, attention and help I got during the night at ER. It took long time because of my blood value tests.
      Thank you much for your … caring and wishes.

  3. I’ve got that helpless feeling – wish I could do something to make it better!! I sure am glad it didn’t hit until after your NY trip! I’m counting 14 days with you, but chocolates are NOW! That was smart. Sweet dreams – I’ll be thinking of you. Hugs X

    • Mary, thanks a million … in bed now with the netbook.
      I had this problems since the beginning of June – and it was really bad until 2 days before I took off to NYC and I was really worried for my trip and to sit for a 7 hours flight, but it was just gone as it came. Thought that was it .. but it came back about 12 days ago and worst then before. How strange wasn’t it that it stopped days before my trip ????
      Only have some chocolate left .. so I think I have to stock up tomorrow again.
      The pain killer will knock me out any minute now.
      Big warm hug back to you. *smile
      The countdown has started!!!!!! Only 13 bottles to go.

    • Maralee, I start to be a bit tired of all the side effects that my treatments still causes me .. after 3 years. They told me that the radio treated areas is like a microwave for years after.
      Chocolate is a great cure against most discomfort in life.
      Maralee, thanks for your support in all this carry on.

  4. So glad you went the ER and I do hope that the medicine helps. I love that you have such a beautiful sense of humor through all of this Viveka. And please do not eat the chocolates while standing on you’re HEAD…..LOL

    • Linda, enough was enough yesterday and the fever isn’t a great thing as you know .. when been treated for cancer – it’s a warning signal. So I just went and I can promise you there wasn’t much sense of humor around last night, but when the morning light came through the window in my “hotel room” it felt a lot better and the spirit was back in me.
      Don’t worry I don’t think I would be able to stand on the head and one think is for sure … I will not try to find out neither. *smile

  5. Chocolate and medicine will fix anything… so long as the chocolate go in one end and the medicine the other all should come right… just don’t get the ends mixed up…
    More serious now, Viveka follow the orders of the Doctor and hopefully all will be right, stay in bed if that’s what he said, bed rest is good for the body… a lower colon infection can be the most painful, and one can even get near to rub it, be well my friend and I hope all is good within the next few days.. and please don’t stand on your head, at our age group, that could be more dangerous than anything else… lol

    • Bob, don’t worry I wouldn’t even dream about putting the chocolate … anywhere else than in my mouth. It was all gone before I fall to sleep.
      You’re so right … it’s one of the most painful experiences I ever had – no words can describe the pain and agony. It’s like walking around with the butt on fire. Driving me mental … and nothing helps against the pain just now.
      This is pure HELL!
      Don’t worry – I will not try to stand on the head … *smile

    • Okay …. if you say so I will believe it too … IT WILL WORK – sounds just fantastic to me. Just that they have tried so many different and it only makes it more painful.
      Alexandra, hugs back .. *smile

    • Helen, thank so much … can’t get enough of hugs just now. *smile
      I really feel sorry for myself and … I wish the pain and discomfort would just ease a little.

  6. What I like most about you, Viveka, is that your sense of humor always stay in tact no matter your pain level. Happy to hear you have hopefully found an answer and treatment. I hope you are feeling better even sooner than the 14 days. : ) xo

    • Heather, my sense of humor has gone in hidding – because I’m in such pain just now. The medicine is so painful to take too. Thank you so much for your kind words and and support. It feels so good.

  7. Oh Viveka, I’m sorry. I’m glad the ER folks gave you something to help. But 14 days? I hope it doesn’t take that long. Chocolate is a good thing, I’m glad you treated yourself.

    • Colleen, the chocolate was gone with the wind very quickly … I wish my problems would do the same.
      I’m not feeling great at all, because the pain is there constant – and the medicine is painful to take too. There is moments when I think I will lose my mind.

      • 😦 Viveka I wish I could do something to help. I truly do. This is one of the difficulties of meeting people ‘on line’ and being so far away. And helpless. I hope by the time you see this you are feeling better.

      • Colleen, you already does so much for me – by just being here for me. All I can ask for.
        Had a far better day today and maybe the medicine has started to go into action. Such a relief – because yteesterday was just terrible. May I reached the peak yesterday. Time for ice cream now. *smile Thanks for being you, Colleen.

  8. I am so sorry you are going through so much. I pray that you will find your way to health soon…..the medicine and chocolates hopefully will do the trick. Big hugs!

  9. Despite all the pain you’re in, I am happy to hear that there finally seems to be a solution to the “sorry butt” and I admire you for your bravery and the humor you have, although you’re in terrible pains. Big hugs! Sleep well and get well very soon xo 🙂 xo

    • Dia, my sense humor is fading away by the day now … this one of the worst experience I ever gone through. The pain is constant and nothing eases it.
      Thank you so much for being here for me …

      • Oh, my dear, I am very sorry to hear that.
        Do cold/ice/cool bags help to “freeze away” the pain?
        With your luck you’ll probably get bladder problems from that… 😉
        Anything I can do to cheer you up?
        Big hug! xoxox

      • Dia, I never thought about a cool bag. Bladder problems I have anyway … and I can maybe use my gel eye pad. Great idea, will try it straight away. I have not tried heating neither.
        Not much you can do … it’s all down to me, but it’s really getting to me now – gone on for so long.
        Hopefully there will be some relief tomorrow. Today has been very tough.
        So thankful for that you are here and cheering me on!
        Big Hug I like very much … and here is one for you.

    • The chocolates … didn’t last very long! *smile
      They were wonderful but far foo few.
      I slept well – but had another rough day and that medicine is so painful to take.

  10. Hopefully the doctors now know why you are having all this pain and can get it solved for you. In the meantime, keep lots of chocolate by your bed and take care. 🙂

    • Karen, I wish I could say that I feel better …. but I’m not – what I don’t understand is how the radio therapy can cause me such problems today, when the treatments was over exactly 3 years. 12 more days of this pain and I will lose it. Never experience anything like it.
      Thanks for being here for me.

      • Karen, please don’t feel bad because of my problems … they say it has to get worse before it gots any better – so maybe there will be a turn tomorrow.
        They explained that after so many radio therapy the treated area is like a micro wave for a long time …

  11. Viveka, my heart goes out to you. How horrible you must feel, physically, mentally and emotionally. I am holding you here in my heart and also holding positive healing thoughts for you. May you be completely healthy in no time at all. Hugs of comfort, dear friend.

    • Lori, thank you so much … this is totally draining me of everything and you’re so right in what you’re saying here. It drains me physically, mentally and emotionally – I hav
      e cried most of the day, because the pain is constant and nothing helps .. not even my strong pain killers, but they make me high and that makes things easier for me to handle, but the pain is there all the time.
      The medicine is painful to take too … so I get stressed by that too of course.
      Lori, thanks for your comfort and understand!

      • Lori, dearest … please don’t feel bad because you’re not able to help *smile
        To be honest I wish you were closer to me too … not becase of my problems that I struggle with just now.
        I had a good nights sleep and hopefully today will be a bit better.

      • Lori, thanks for everything … had a pretty okay day today, not so much pain and discomfort – maybe the medicine are kicking in – I really hope so, because this is not fun anymore .. don’t even want to joke about it!

  12. Bless you, darlin. I read the other post before this one so my messages will be back to front. What’s new! Get well soon 🙂 Look at all your lovely messages. You could be hugged to bits!

    • Jo, maybe yesterday was the turning point in all this – it’s peak performance. *laughing It feels like it’s changing in the right direction. Yesterday I was on the edge of everything. Just them on !!!! The hugs. *smile

  13. I don’t want to like this. It’s too horrible to receive such ‘approval’. I am just glad, after reading your other post, that you’re feeling a little better now. Still sending prayers your way. Hope that the chocolate helped! xxx

    • Laura, thank you so much …. it has been ongoing for since June, but just went to worst in August .. but strangely it stopped 2 days before my New York trip .. but started again 2 days after my return home.
      It has been a private hell, but hopefully the medicine is working as it should.

    • Thank you so much for your lovely comment – yes, we take thing for granted and things like cancer only happens to the neighbors – then the lighting strikes.
      My butt is far better, the medicine has worked .. but it has been a long journey and very discomforting to take.
      Once again for stopping by.

  14. Oh Viveka, this sounds miserable. Oh my gosh, thinking of you. So so wish the best for you – take care xx

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