my sorry ass

….. gives me massive problems – can only sit for a shorter period of time – the reason why I haven’t been visiting you guys, because I can only sit for about 15 min max and then my butt is on fire. That is also why I only post very short posts – can’t bear the pain for a longer period of time.

butts - funnysir com

It has been going on for nearly 2 months and I thought there was a simple and very common explanation to my problem but there isn’t. Been last to the doctor 2 weeks ago and she wasn’t much wiser and the medicine that I have been given only make the problem worst. So we stopped it. And the problem has gone a lot worst during the 2 weeks pasted. Not a funny situation, I promise you! *smile

And because my history of cancer they are now going to look closer on me and of course I’m truly worried – because I have been traveling with the demon for nearly a year in total and I don’t want to do that journey again.

I’m not going into greater details about my problem … but I have done a post about my last adventure: sick humor

It is not like I’m constant worried, but when the pain sets in – the fear comes back, so my booty has to be on the go … and not sit more than necessary.

Wait for dates for the examinations and in the meantime – my “lucky pills” (OxyNorm) makes my days bearable.

You, know me by now … and I never try to hide my worries and fears – and I’m not doing that now neither and there is a great comfort in sharing too. I know deep inside there can be many reasons to this and it doesn’t have to be the worst outcome – but sometimes the common sense just goes out the window.

Please, don’t feel sorry for me … I’m so good on doing that myself – but bear with me and I will be back like glue on your back.

Now it’s time to get off the seat again. See you …. *smile

“Fear makes us feel our humanity.”
Benjamin Disraeli

butt - nyuuz hu

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81 thoughts on “my sorry ass

    • Thanks, JO …. shaking is okay – so I carry on with doing that. I hope so too – a bit better today … haven’t taken any “lucky pills”.

  1. Viveka….please keep us up to date with how you’re doing…..I hate that you’re having to worry….I’ll send many prayers your way and be thinking of you. xoxo

  2. My kind of music… my favorite… funky music! Disco… Viveka, I understand your concerns as I have non Hodgkins lymphoma… there’s always a fear… even when ‘forgetting’… my prayers and good thoughts are coming your way. Love, Gloria Time to ‘shake, shake, shake’! Yes, ‘I’m getting down’… in my mind. :))) I see a young girl who could do it with the best of them… many years ago! Ha! Ha! Trying to make you smile, Viveka.

    • Gloria, I’m smiling … and my humor nothing will take away from me – something that took through the treatments – so even if I’m standing up and answering you just now. Thanks, Gloria for cheering me on. I need that … because the fear is very strong ingredient, but I sleep well . Thank for your support. I know you had a tough and rough journey too.
      Yesterday I was told that my wonderful neighbor that took so good care of me when I was sick, have got aggressive lung cancer. That has of course an effect on my mood too.

      • Viveka, your words make me smile… and feel sadness all at the same time. I’m sure my journey in no way compares to what you have traveled… then, again … maybe it does. It just seems ‘when it’s someone you care about, like’… it’s worse… and like me… I wish I could make it all go away, or get much better because my heart cares so much. So, while you stand up, Viveka… shake that booty! :))) I don’t believe I said that! It’s that ‘humor’ that comes out in a not the best situation! I hope you can be better so very soon.

      • Gloria, I think your journey through life has been a lot harder than mine and you have come through it – of course sadness, pain and worries is a part of everybodies life – in more or less amount.
        Have been shaking my booty by the ironing board this morning and just now by the stove. *smile – dinner time.
        We can never get too much of humor – even the last morning mom was alive there was humor, but we have the same right to our tears as we have to our laughter. I love when you care as you so … a big heart and a big soul.

      • I care more than my words say… I do know humor in a soft, gentle, ‘good’ way makes all better.

        I remember when it did for me when all I could do was smile. That’s another way of caring… if one can’t say much… they can ‘feel a smile in their heart’.

        I didn’t know all I read this morning, that you wrote. I can’t tell you how I smiled, felt the tears in my eyes… my heart… my very Heart… it was sad at the same time, but.. ‘good’ humor at the same time about something so serious… so ‘life’…. here’s my special word for it… ‘Bittersweet’. Beautiful, sad at the same time… so real.

      • Gloria, bittersweet … it the right word. To not feeling healthy is serious because it effects everything and everybody around us .. but if we can handle it with some bad jokes and great stories … give a couple a smile – things feels easier to everybody.
        I don’t want to dwell in my illness and what has been in the past – I want to leave that behind me and … take the dancing shoes on, but then something happens to my body … that isn’t right and the dancing shoes fells a bit too small *smile
        My journey was very tough and rough – like for everybody else with cancer – it comes in a terrible wrapping.
        Thank you so much for your caring .. please, don’t cry for me … smile, because I manage through it all.

      • I am always ‘here’, Viveka. I feel for my friend, and I will smile for you. You are ‘like me’ in this journey… you can ‘stretch those dancing shoes’ back out until they are ‘just right’.

        We have to keep that vision in our mind… if they feel too small… imagine me getting on my knees, taking your feet on my knee… taking your dancing shoes off …one by one… stretching them with my hands until when.. I put them back on your feet… they get a little bigger each time… until they are ‘just right’ once again.

    • I wish they where mine, Jo …. but in all honesty I think it’s better to have a big bum in the situation I’m in now – Love big hugs and smiles.

  3. My hope for you is that your doctor finds the problem quickly and is able to resolve it without much effort. Think positive Vivi, I am thinking of you

    • Terry, so soon I get a date – if there is anything they can see it straight away. Will keep you posted, *smile
      Thanks for caring.
      Terry, you know me I’m always positive with short weak moments.

  4. Have you been to a physical therapist? I had a similar problem a few years ago and it was due to muscles in my butt that were too tight- piraformis, psoas, and gluteus minimus. They still act up if I forget to do my stretches. Hope you get this sorted out soon. The doctor didn’t help me but PT sure did.

    • Donna, thanks … no not yet – maybe it comes to that – they have notice that I have a tight scare on my colon after the radio therapy – and it can be that … I asked them when they noticed it a little over a year ago what will they do if it starts to create a problem – they informed me that it’s quite simple procedure, easy fixed.
      Thank you so much for the information – first I have to find out what is wrong with me.
      So happy that you have been able to live with your problems.
      Sometime it feels like through my cancer treatment 40% of my life is gone – so many aftermaths problems – but on the other hand it I hadn’t got the treatments I wouldn’t have 0% life left.

  5. Viveka, so glad to read you, though I had hoped you were travelling and taking more of your wonderful pics… I had wondered why I had not gotten a new post from you in my reader… It’s complicated to post when there’s physical discomfort, though emotional discomfort fuels the bloggers mind, right?! Take care my friend, hope you’ve signs of betterment for next blog post, Alexandra

    • Alexandra, I have been posting .. you have to check out my posts about Monte-Carlo and the romance of my life. I haven’t been posted so often as I did. Fare too painful just now.
      I try to do so much as I can in the morning – before it start to get too sore. I’m sitting on one of those inflatable neck pillow we have when we travel. It works okay. *smile No lucky pills needed so far today.
      Thank you so much for cheering me on … *smile

  6. We’ll be thinking of you in blogland. Sending you hugs and good healing thoughts from Texas USA.
    BTW …. LOVE the last pic with the cat on the butt. Where DO you find all these?

    • Hi there, Google .. helps me to find my images!! – I love that image too – but she is freezing – or something else because she has goosebumps. *laughing
      I will take your hugs with now … going to lay down and watch some TV from my bed.

    • Danny, thanks for the visit …. shaking no problem, sitting massive problems. Great tune … disco – my golden years on the dance floor.
      Promise to be cool and strong about it.

    • Thank you so much, Nia … I’m sure I will be fine in the end … if not I will fly to New York with a sore butt next months. *smile
      You’re such a wonderful friend.

  7. If you can’t sit but can stand…let’s put on our dancing shoes, my dear friend, and we will dance and laugh until you forget the pain. 🙂

    • Karen, thanks … I was shaking my booty yesterday by the ironboard. *smile … and it felt so good. So happy for my inflateable neck pillow – never used when travelling – but now it’s in good use. *smile

  8. Miss Viveka, please do not misunderstand wanting to send you best wishes and positive thoughts as feeling sorry for you. I care about your well-being and hope you heal up quickly. If it is burning you feel, ask the doctors about neuropathy. My mom got burning from neuropathy after her cancer treatments. It may be as simple as adding extra vitamins to your diet. My heart is with you. Hugs and well wishes.

    • Thank you so much … Lori, for your friendship, care and support. I will after I been for my colonoscopy, 27.08 got the date today – because their something that puts pressure on things.
      Will keep you posted *smile

    • Thank you so much, it’s truly a terrible problem – but yesterday I found a painkiller in my medicine draw that is just blowing the pain away. Don’t clue why the doctor has prescribed them to me, but it just blow the pain away – and last for nearly 12 hours. Have got a date now for the colposcopy, 27.08.
      So happy over that you like my music …. because it’s a big part of my pleasure.

  9. I love a good derriere… one with a bit of meat on it… sorry to hear about your fears, I hope all is ok and the worries have been for nothing… Be think about you and praying all is fine…

    • Bob, thanks … you know what it’s all about – Linda, must had her moments of fear too through the years.
      Last night I found some fantastic painkillers in my medicine draw … 12 hours since I took them and still singing, high as skyscraper – but it feels great just now.
      Got a date now, 27.08. Thanks for your thoughts and concern.

      • Yes Linda still goes through them… as do I worrying about her… she was given some pills once for pain and never used them, I had a terrible migraine once and had run out of my pills so tried one of hers… wow I floated a foot above ground for a good 12 hours… she wouldn’t let me use them again, said I was looking for excuses to say I had pain…(I was actually never felt so good)

      • Yes, I can understand those that use drugs …. it’s a really great and warm feeling with those pills. Now 15 hours ago and I still don’t feel any pain, but I feel great and happy. But good painkillers – is good to have in the back pocket … at times. Never used them before … so I don’t really know for what pain I got them, because it my treatments was over when I got them. Anyhow – I’m still floating around .. *smile and no pain – have been able to done some PC work today.
        I don’t anyone that has danced with cancer will be from the fear. Every little unknown change in the body and it jumps up on the shoulder … and start picking. *smile

    • Hi there, Ralph …. yes, I did a CAT scan 1/2 after my treatments – but that is 2,5 years ago … and with cancer, who knows???
      I can’t say I’m looking forward to be looked at on the inside again, mostly because of the 4 liters of terrible “cleaning” detergent I have to drink under 4 hours the evening before.

      • Ooops. Sorry Viveka. That joke backfired somewhat. Never mind. For what is important is getting you better. How awful ….. detergent !! It’s about time they found a humane cure ….. a common flower or something simple …. I am sure that there must be something out there that is an easy harmless treatment. Be well soon, and I mean soon.

      • I read it as a joke first .. and then I read it again I wasn’t too sure. So it didn’t backfire … I couldn’t read between all lines. Got a date now .. for the detergent drinking – just hate it, taste like lukewarm sea water *smile
        Thanks for your cheering me on.

    • Madhu, my sense of humor is always there, it goes in hiding sometimes – but soon back and that is what helps me – the pain is less, but still big discomfort and I have tried not to take any “lucky pills” this week – only a few days left to my examination. Have a great weekend now.

  10. Viveka, I sometimes get that burning/fire sensation if I sit too long or sit improperly in my tailbone area…very uncomfortable. Funny, it never bothered me while on vacation and completely unplugged from the computer. Connection? I think so.

    • Hi there, Heather ….. I have have the bruning feeling pain all the time now, so I think there is something there that is causeing the problem.
      I think that a good pad maybe could help with your problems .. it can be the chair tha cause the problem, to hard … I agree that sitting by the computer put strain on the bum and back. So a proper chair is very important.

  11. Had a PC crash and have not been able to read so much – and then I find this! Poor you! I was thinking – why not try one of those rings that is used when you have had a baby? It lets you sit and puts the pressure around your buttt instead of on it. Just a thought, but I guess you have tried most things by now. Hopefully you will be relieved and come out as good as new again soon! Big hug!

    • A-C – I have been looking for them .. but nowhere to find – so I use one of those inflatable neck pillow for travelling and it helps a bit. Going for my colonoscopy on 27th, but it’s really bothering me know … constant pain.
      But it’s what it’s.

  12. Pingback: On Hot Sauces | A Frank Angle

    • Maralee, It miserable – it has become a bit better since I went back on my medicine – but still should discomfort and I can’t sit for long. No “lucky pills” this week and that feels good.

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