when you have been dancing with the demon – you never forget the steps

                                                                                                                                                                            …. and you don’t want to be asked for an other dance. Talking about cancer now. Every ten minutes  are a Swede been diagnosed with cancer. 50.000 people every year and only 2/3 of us are surviving.

Cancer is something that always happen to somebody else ..  that’s what we think. Until the day – sorry, but the news are not that great. That day arrived for me 12.07.10 /  08.45 CET.

Personally was I such a pain for nearly 8 months .. could hardly walk – couldn’t sleep … my pain was in my hips – and if it had been for the bleeding … I wouldn’t been here today. Cervical cancer – tumor bigger than a golf ball caused my pain.

When I got the news .. did I become so calm – and slept like a baby every night until the operation, 3 weeks later. I don’t think it really sank in with me that I had cancer – all I wanted was for the pain to go away. My first thought when I woke up was – no pain in my hips.

That awaking .. was only a start on a very rough and tough journey – that I more or less did on my own – except my doctors and hospital staff that dragged me through it all.

Had a fantastic support over Facebook from my friends here in Sweden and abroad – but not much physical support as such – the journey very lonely. Nothing I hold against anyone … but it was a period when I really understood how lonely we really are or can be even if we have friends and acquaintances.

Still I’m  happy over that I was back in Sweden when this all happen – the treatments and the standards are outstanding. Not only that – it was a fantastic comfort to speak with doctors in my own language.

The fear that … I will asked for an other dance are always there.

This has nothing to do with pleasure – but maybe some guilt – guilt over that I’m not fully thankful for that I have survived so fare – that I every day more or less want my old body and life back. Mostly be free from the fear .. and the side effects from the treatments.

photo provided by: louisville.com

snow & ice

Yesterday evening we got our first snow for this season here in the South – big big flakes, but this morning all gone and we have sunshine instead.

Love the snow – it make everything so soft.

Last evening I spent with a good friend and her 2 daughters with “Disney on Ice” at Malmoe Arena. – Princesses and Heroes – very pretty. Won 4 tickets through  a competition on Facebook: had the right answer – Apples ????!!!!. It was a great evening because if there is anything Disney is great on is eye for details and greatness. Even if I don’t think the skating was that great, was expecting a lot more. The kids loved it and there was loads of them. Enjoyed the show and the company.

It must be more then 30 years ago I was at an ice show last and in those days it was called “Holiday on Ice”. I’m old !!!!!!

When leaving the arena – snow fell softly on us – it was a bit freezing, but a nice finishing on a pleasant enough evening.

big city girl !!!!

Wouldn’t like to live in one … but I love to visit them. I think it’s the pulse, atmosphere and buzz – the opportunities they offers that attracts me so. To be able to sit and people watch for hours .. to see shows,  to eat on exciting restaurants – walk around without any special goal and find areas that’s not in every city guide. Good shopping –  nothing wrong with that. Not an ordinary tourist when I’m travelling – don’t have to see all the sights – don’t have to what the guide books are telling me I should do.

1. Chicago

2.Vancouver

3. Hong Kong  (post; 19.01.12) 

4. Barcelona &  Athens (post;10.03.12)

5. Berlin

6. London

7. Stockholm (post; 01.02.12)

8. New York

9. Boston

10. Dublin (post; 21.02.12)

Nagasaki (post; 04.02.12)

Copenhagen (post; 01.02.12)

New Orleans (post; 14.03.12 & 17.03.12) 

Oslo

Seattle

Paris (post; 20.03.12)

So my experience and views on the those cities will I share with you. The reasons why I love them so – will introduce you to hotels I stayed on – restaurants I have enjoyed.

Then we have – my gems – will share them too, but they don’t belong here.

Welcome aboard. – we just left Hong Kong behind.

To listen and watch click: Bright Lights Bigger City’